Monday, November 30, 2009



I bought another black, beat up, flea market piece o' crap bike.  The first one was stolen just 3 weeks after I had bought it.  I simpered, I whined, I blogged about it.  The blog included a completely unrelated video of the Bicycle song by Queen.  It was catharsis with a Capital ARSE.  Damn it felt good.

Now I have another one.  It is black.  It is beat up.  The lights don't work and the brakes are sheise, just like my previous bike (sob, sniff).  So I decided to take my new/old bike on a long  ride in the German and Polish countryside.  Or rather, that was decided for me.  As I mentioned in my previous bike blog:  I ONLY OWN A BIKE TO CARRY BEER CRATES ON THE BACK RACK.  But someone dared me, nay, DOUBLE* dared me.  Anyone sense a theme here (crap, db, you say 'double,' 'deux' and 'second hand' more than anyone I know)?

We had planned to go on a day trip to Poland for pierogi and vodka, as you do from time to time when you get tired of the BILLIONS of things to do in Berlin.  There was to be a stop in a German village or two for castle and countryside snapshots.  Being a photo dude, I opted in.  One hour before the train was scheduled to depart, I got a message which read, 'Listen, bitch, git yo honky ass on yo bike and bring it wit yo dumb ass to da train, nigga.'  Actually, the message was 'They said you had a bike, bring it with you', but a British person in the group told an American in the group that I had a bike and the translation went completely downhill from there.  Then it got filtered through my fragile ego as a dare.  Hence the careless use of the N word.

So, here is a picture of  my NEW/OLD bike.  Note the old scratched out paint at the top of the photo:  '63.5 km to Berlin.'  I would like to say that I biked all that way and took a brief pause to take a photo.  But nobody would believe a man who has a jelly donut for an avatar.

*Sponsored by DOUBLEMINT Gum.  MMMMMmmmmmm.  MMmmmmMINTY.

1 comment:

  1. I like the look of the black bike against the brick wall, with graffiti for added detail!