Sunday, July 15, 2012

De-whored by Google

Google AdSense Threatens Dunkin' Berliner, Gets the Sticky Finger

I have de-whored myself.  I've cleaned up my act and will no longer be showing ads on my blog.  You may go ahead and scroll down my large, ample, glazed body of work to see that I am free of all ads, crabs and STDs.  Not because after only one year displaying zillions of ads I got only 7 dollars, not because I have no Ho Sense, but because they sent me a threatening email.  Bitches:

During a recent review of your account we found that you are currently displaying Google ads in a manner that is not compliant with our program policies:
VIOLATION(S) FOUND: ADULT/EXPLICIT TEXT: As stated in our program policies, AdSense publishers are not permitted to place Google ads on pages with adult or mature content, including sexually explicit text.REQUESTED ACTION: Please make all necessary changes in the next 72 hours. If the violations are corrected within the aforementioned time period, ad serving will not be affected. If changes are not made and/or other policy violations are encountered during the review process, ad serving will be disabled to your site.


Google, you can take your seven bucks and change and
cram it right up yer cyber-pooper!

I wonder how many millions of bux these fux made by serving ads on peep’s blogz for years, then, oh, gee, my o my, gosh darn it, YEARS later find an F word or two.  It’s a scam.  The exact same kind The Rich have been pouring down the gullets of We Poor for eons.  How do I know it’s a scam?  Because Google crawlers cache results after a few months, then you can find me in 0.03 seconds if you don’t have a 56k modem.  I know this because I look at the charts.  No, really.  I have WAY too much time on my hands.
So now I've disabled the ads, thrown away my potential for pennies.  I won't change my content for anyone; kinda defeats the purpose of having a blog if I can't drop F bombs every time I have a brain fart.  If that's the case, I might as well get an internship writer's job at a weekly Amish newspaper (printed by hand, no machines).  So this old whore is hanging up the high heels, getting off the ad crack, saying goodbye to his Google pimp.  You won't see me peddling my ass for pennies and pizza delivery any longer.  I'm now an uptown ho, a right proper call girl.  The only way you can pay me is to click the Exclusive 'donate donut' button at the top right of this blog.  I'm more discreet, no more random ads peddling their wares on MY street corner of cyberspace—but I'm still a relatively cheap ho.  I mean, how much can a donut donation cost?


  1. Good for you! I always hate that whole thing of advertising on blogs...I do the Amazon thing, with the "buy" buttons, but they don't bother me or threaten me.

  2. You tell 'em cowboy! I'll buy ya a beer next time we meet, maybe even two. That donate button looks scary and you probably have to go through Paypal who are the worst fuckers of all. Bis bald.

  3. In lieu of a donut donation I'll take a beer anytime, Hoss. Don't fear the 'Donate Donut' button. It is our friend. Yes, PayPal is involved, but nowadays only trailer trash without email, credit cards and/or debit cards are unable to use it (I have 2 out of 3 of those things, I'm high class trailer trash). 'Worst fuckers of all' is rather relative, ain't it? Without the Kindly PayPal Fux, I'd have to convince my corporate clients to hand me sacks of cash after each job. They won't do it; they need the greasy sacks o'cash for the petty expenses like hookers and blow.

    BTW: is 'bis bald' a German greeting or a German curse by which I will lose all my hair? :o